The Dash Blog

I'm pretty sure everyone wants to be at the top of their game and be amazing at what you do, right? If so, read on — I've got a genuine game-changer for you.

When someone calls in and says, "Hey, I'm calling around and looking for a place for my mom. Can you tell me how much it costs for a one-bedroom?" — here's what you say instead of diving into pricing:

"Absolutely, so glad that you called in. I'm happy to answer all of your questions. But before we begin, would it be okay if I ask you some questions just to better understand you and what's important to you and your mom, so I can better help you?"

That's it. Ask permission to ask questions.

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Here's why it matters so much. Imagine you have a leak in your sink. You call your plumber, he says he'll be right out. When he arrives in the morning — can he just walk in? I mean, you knew he was coming. You have a problem he can fix. So why can't he walk right in?

Because it's about boundaries. He's coming into your space, your private home. He needs to knock and ask permission — even though you knew he was coming.

The same is true with your prospects. By asking permission to ask questions, you take their guard down. They know what to expect. They'll be more patient with you and more forthcoming in their answers. This builds trust and rapport from the very first exchange.

BUT — here's the thing. You will need to practice this, because it is not a natural technique. I slapped an enormous sticky note right on my phone to remind myself. Practice with a friend. Role-play the call. It feels awkward at first — and then it becomes the most natural thing you do.

Let me introduce you to Stacy. Stacy needed a new laptop, so she went to the big box electronics store — partly sure she knew what she wanted, partly just looking to talk to someone.

The salesperson she met didn't launch into specs. Instead, he said: "Stacy, tell me about you. Tell me about your work environment. What's important to you in a laptop? What will you be using it for?"

All of his questions were about her. Stacy was blown away. She ended up leaving with a laptop that was a bit more than she planned to spend — but it was perfect for her, and she would not have purchased it otherwise. She was genuinely grateful.

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What does this have to do with senior living? Hopefully you're already connecting the dots. This is prospect-centered selling — person-centered selling instead of product-centered selling.

Product selling is based on the details: the specs, the amenities, all your many features and benefits. And your community has a lot to offer! But person-centered is where the real magic happens — discovering their specific wants, needs, and desires.

So many salespeople see themselves as a walking, talking billboard. You need to see your role very differently. If you're person-centered, it's all about the discovery process — asking really good questions, building the relationship, building rapport, building trust. That is what gives you a meaningful edge as prospects compare their options.

Imagine you're flying into New York City. You hail a cab. You get in, and your driver — so nice, so compassionate — says: "I'm happy to help. I'm just going to start driving. You tell me where to turn."

That would panic you. You want the driver to know where to take you.

The same is true in senior living sales. I've done a lot of mystery shopping over the years — some good, some not so good. Here's one of the not-so-good ones. I called a senior care community and spoke to a genuinely kind gentleman. After I told him my story, he said: "Wonderful. What questions do you have for me?"

Even as a professional, I was taken aback. As a daughter calling about my mom for the very first time — how would I know what to ask? He put me in the Uber and asked me which way to turn.

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Time to take the wheel. You are the driver. Take control — because it is the kind and loving thing to do. It is the biggest gift you can give someone who is starting this journey.

Say this instead: "So glad that you called in. I'm very happy to answer all your questions. Would it be okay if I ask you some questions first, so that I can better help you find a solution that makes sense for you?"

Then take it from there. And here's the key: your prospect should be doing 90% of the talking. Not until you've asked all the questions you need — and have a full picture of their needs, wants, and desires — do you start speaking at greater length. Discover first. Present second.

Every now and then you learn a sales technique that changes the game — not only in sales, but in life. Today I'm letting you in on this hidden gem. It's a 2-part technique: using an option of two, which naturally leads to part 2: always setting a next step.

Have you ever tried to get a toddler to do what you want? "Hey little Jimmy, time to get dressed. Do you want the blue shirt or the red shirt?" They have a choice — but both choices work for you. The psychology is beautiful.

I don't want to compare your prospects to toddlers — they are absolutely not. But this psychology works with everyone, and it helps you move the sale forward without pressure.

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Here's how it looks in senior living:

"The next step is to come in for a visit so you can make sure this is a comfortable place for your mom. What would work best? I have time tomorrow afternoon, or I have this afternoon available as well. What would work better for you?"

You named the next step. Then you gave the option of two. Every time.

Another example: "The next step is to have a budget conversation. We can do that in person or over the phone — whatever works better for you. I can make Wednesday work, or even Tuesday if that's better."

Always have a next step. As much as possible, take the pressure off by giving them an option of two. It will revolutionize what you're doing — and you'll start using it in everyday life too.

Have you heard about Simon Sinek's "Start With Why"? He has a short video on YouTube — about 5 minutes — that I highly recommend. It really helps you figure out your core motivation and what resonates with your values. When you find it, it changes everything.

I've chosen senior living — a very worthy profession, and frankly, I love working with the elderly. They're fun, interesting, and full of stories and wisdom. Older folks served as our Google, until Google showed up. But I digress.

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I'm fortunate to have found my why. I work in senior living because of my mother. She was living in a nursing home, and all of us kids lived pretty far away. The staff there loved her like she was their own grandmother. They worked with her to play practical jokes on each other and had a grand old time.

We only found out about these shenanigans after she passed, when the staff regaled us with stories. Two of her favorite nurse's aides came to her funeral on their own time and gave our family a photo of themselves with her — and asked that we put that photo in her casket.

That became my motivating why. I wanted every family with a loved one in senior living to have that same experience — their person treated with that much love and intentionality.

Even with that passion, there are still days when I wonder what the heck I'm doing. That's when I pull out my why. It brings me back. And I get back on track.

I hope my story helps you — even a little bit — in finding yours.